Loved this! Can I ask how you continue to navigate a relationship with your dad after his vote for Trump? My mom voted for Trump and she wants to be in my life but I feel so much unexpressed rage towards her because I blame her in some small way for all the harm he is doing, especially as my mom claims to be a Christian. She refuses to acknowledge that her vote was a permission for Trump to treat other humans that she supposedly is supposed to love so horrifically and instead keeps saying, "we just have to pray" and "according to the Bible we're going to all suffer", and "it's up to God now trust in Him even if what Trump does is horrible" and I just want to scream "BUT YOU CO-SIGNED THIS SHIT!"
So this is not my experience with my parents because we are not a religious family BUT Christian’s family is very religious and he grew up in the church. His advice is to really ground yourself in curiosity. Ask questions, figure out what’s at the root of her vote. What did she hope would happen? If she acknowledges that what’s happening is horrible then reach for connection there. Prayer is a meditative practice, not an action so ask her what she’s *doing* to help people in her community since helping our direct communities is the best way forward.
I’d also add to get curious about your rage too. It’s justified, it’s there, what is it doing for you? Is it moving you to action or is it isolating you? Learning how to set your anger aside for a conversation and say things like “okay, i hear you but I disagree. This is what I think.” is really powerful. We’ve gotta find points of connection with folks we disagree with (obviously if it’s safe physically, financially, etc. this is not saying to extend a hand to abusers).
Her reasoning wasn't so much hoping something would happen with her vote, her direct exact word response was "you know kamala was for abortion and transgender ". She knows what's happening is horrible but waves it all away and avoids her part in the mess, always by saying we have to turn to God.
I feel like the rage is moving me to action. Which I've unfortunately connected to even more resentment because I'm not the one who caused this but we're all going to be dragged down by the consequences and those in the right are the ones who have to fight against it.
Maybe! If it’s not possible to get her to evaluate deeper than her religious fervor then there is likely not much you can do. How much time might be wasted trying to convince her that human beings, despite differences in culture and sexuality and race, are humans nonetheless? I do think sticking firmly to “i disagree” as a response, even if it goes nowhere, is valuable. It at the very least let’s her know that you don’t think whatever she’s saying is permissible to you.
Loved this! Can I ask how you continue to navigate a relationship with your dad after his vote for Trump? My mom voted for Trump and she wants to be in my life but I feel so much unexpressed rage towards her because I blame her in some small way for all the harm he is doing, especially as my mom claims to be a Christian. She refuses to acknowledge that her vote was a permission for Trump to treat other humans that she supposedly is supposed to love so horrifically and instead keeps saying, "we just have to pray" and "according to the Bible we're going to all suffer", and "it's up to God now trust in Him even if what Trump does is horrible" and I just want to scream "BUT YOU CO-SIGNED THIS SHIT!"
So this is not my experience with my parents because we are not a religious family BUT Christian’s family is very religious and he grew up in the church. His advice is to really ground yourself in curiosity. Ask questions, figure out what’s at the root of her vote. What did she hope would happen? If she acknowledges that what’s happening is horrible then reach for connection there. Prayer is a meditative practice, not an action so ask her what she’s *doing* to help people in her community since helping our direct communities is the best way forward.
I’d also add to get curious about your rage too. It’s justified, it’s there, what is it doing for you? Is it moving you to action or is it isolating you? Learning how to set your anger aside for a conversation and say things like “okay, i hear you but I disagree. This is what I think.” is really powerful. We’ve gotta find points of connection with folks we disagree with (obviously if it’s safe physically, financially, etc. this is not saying to extend a hand to abusers).
Her reasoning wasn't so much hoping something would happen with her vote, her direct exact word response was "you know kamala was for abortion and transgender ". She knows what's happening is horrible but waves it all away and avoids her part in the mess, always by saying we have to turn to God.
I feel like the rage is moving me to action. Which I've unfortunately connected to even more resentment because I'm not the one who caused this but we're all going to be dragged down by the consequences and those in the right are the ones who have to fight against it.
Idk maybe I'm spiraling!
Maybe! If it’s not possible to get her to evaluate deeper than her religious fervor then there is likely not much you can do. How much time might be wasted trying to convince her that human beings, despite differences in culture and sexuality and race, are humans nonetheless? I do think sticking firmly to “i disagree” as a response, even if it goes nowhere, is valuable. It at the very least let’s her know that you don’t think whatever she’s saying is permissible to you.